If only I had known…
Jane Gross in today’s NY Times echoes the woes of Gen Sandwichers everywhere. We learn by doing and by making mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s our parents who pay the price for our learning curve. Every day, every phone call raises a new challenge, a new dilemma that I don’t know how to solve. Sometimes I guess right; sometimes I’m wrong. Hopefully I won’t make a serious error in judgment, either medically or financially. I want my mom’s final years to be as carefree as possible, but when her only backup is me, it’s pretty tenuous. So far I haven’t blown it too badly, but every day is a new challenge.With her recent fall, my brother and I made some mistakes that we didn’t know until later. We signed up for LifeAlert when we meant to call LifeLine. We contracted with a homemaker agency and later learned they could only do 20% homemaking. The rest needed to be personal care. We already had an agency providing PT and bath assistance. What Mom needed was homemaking services. We had to cancel that contract and hire an individual to help with homemaking. Minor errors, but frustrating.
I also run into continuing challenges with medical care. Fortunately, I have some limited knowledge, but never enough, it seems. She has some conditions that her primary seems to take pretty lightly. I’m never sure when to press for a referral and when to trust him. Like Jane Gross, I long for a gerontologist who will manage her care. And I pray that the mistakes I make will be minor…
How do you handle the uncertainties?
Labels: aging parents, challenges, finances, medical care
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Financial Power of Attorney
About a month ago I wrote about the problems of managing Mom’s finances with the durable power of attorney that we had. When I went to Mom’s this week, we met with her attorney and he added me to the trust as co-owner. He said he’s seeing more requests for this type of change as more financial institutions are requiring more than they used to. It was easy—just added my name, reprinted the page, and had it notarized. Our attorney doesn’t even charge for minor changes like this.Of course, in order to do this, your parent will have to trust you implicitly, or as one of my commenter mentioned, not care. It’s a huge responsibility, but it will certainly make managing Mom’s finances easier.
Labels: finances, legal responsibility
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Resources for Gen Sandwichers
I just discovered a new resource for Gen Sandwichers. The 360 Degrees of Financial Literacy Web site offers general information for managing personal finances. They have articles in the categories of budgeting basics, health care and health insurance, housing issues, long-term care and dependent care, and Social Security. In addition there are FAQs and tools to help you manage your multitude of responsibilities. There are many other types of financial information for different life stages at the same site. Check it out.Labels: finances, sandwich generation
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Be Prepared to Manage Older Parents’ Finances
Certified Financial Planner Linda Sims reminds Gen Sandwichers, “One of the most important aspects of care giving, yet often the most difficult subject for children and their parents to discuss, is finances. Basic facts such as how much money your parents have, how much they owe and where money is kept are important for you to know.Equally important is knowing about their life, long-term care and medical insurance policies. You also should know whether your parents have a will and where a copy can be found.” This is information you will need if you suddenly find yourself responsible for managing their finances.
Sims lists several of the most important financial issues to help you prepare for such a scenario:
•Income – How much money comes in to your parents and from where? Do they have company pensions, government pensions or Social Security benefits?
•Assets – Get a list of checking and savings accounts and investments such as 401(k) accounts, stocks, bonds, certificates of deposit and life insurance polices. Don’t overlook other assets such as residential and commercial real estate.
•Stored assets and valuable documents – Do your parents have safe deposit boxes? Where are they? Where are the keys? Whose names are on the signature cards? Where are their important documents stored? What about valuables such as jewelry, antiques and collectibles? How about birth certificates and their Social Security and driver’s license numbers?
•Insurance – How much and what types of medical, life and long-term care insurance do your parents have? Specifically, what do their policies cover? Do they have supplemental insurance? How are the payments made – a fact you’ll want to know to prevent coverage termination due to a payment lapse.
•Wills – Do your parents have wills? Who have your parents named as executors, trustees and powers of attorney? If your parents don’t have wills, urge them to work with an attorney and create them so they can avoid potentially huge tax consequences.
In addition to this information, make sure that you have contact information for your parents’ professional advisers including attorneys, accountants and insurance agents. That way, you’ll know where to turn for help and information in the event of parental illness or death.
While talking with your parents about finances isn’t easy, it is essential for you to get answers now about how to manage the financial responsibilities you may have to assume on their behalf. It will help you help them as they meet the inevitable challenges of aging.
Although every family is different, I found that by beginning to talk about financial and financial planning early, years before there was any need for my involvement, it set the stage for ongoing discussions. And then, when I needed to be more directive, we already had a pattern of openness established.
Labels: aging parents, finances
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Are You Saving Too Much for Retirement?
Tom Blumer at BizzyBlog offers some down to earth advice on saving for retirement. He questions an AtMarketWatch article where the author suggests that Americans are saving too much for retirement. He counters this with some very reasonable “what ifs” that bear consideration.As I read about Social Security, Medicare and especially the impact illegal immigration is having on these already precarious programs, I don’t think we Gen Sandwichers can save too much for retirement. And if we do, well… our kids will be a step ahead.
Labels: Baby Boomers, finances, Medicare, retirement, Social Security
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Surviving the Sandwich Generation
CNNMoney.com has a wonderful Money Magazine article called Sandwich Generation: Survive the midlife tug of war. It includes an extensive list of web sites, books and people that can help you to be both a good kid and a good parent. I’m going to bookmark it and spend some time there. Lots of resources and ideas for Gen Sandwichers.Labels: Baby Boomers, finances, midlife, sandwich generation
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tips to Help Aging Parents with their Finances
Laura T. Coffey offers 10 tips to help your aging parents keep up with their finances on MSNBC’s Consumer News. These are good reminders for those whose parents are just beginning to lose their abilities to manage like they used to.Labels: aging parents, finances
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Strategies for the "Sandwich Generation"
Karyn McCormack, in an article for BusinessWeek.com, offers several strategies for the Gen Sandwichers.She notes that the costs for the Gen Sandwichers can add up, even if your parents have saved for their own future care. The reality is, their generation is living longer—many into their 90s--thanks to better health care, and the cost for that care is rising.
McCormack notes that the average cost for a nursing home stay in 2005 was $64,000 a year—or about $176 per day—for a semi-private room. In my step dad’s case, the cost was $205 per day, plus lots of extras—and he doesn’t live in an urban area.
About the time Gen Sandwichers are coughing up an average of $21,235 for college tuition (per child), they’re also losing money as they take time away from work to care for their aging parents. “On average, 18 hours a week are devoted to care,” says Patti Brennan, president of Key Financial, a financial planning firm in West Chester, Pa.
McCormack points out that many caregivers, who tend to be women, must either leave their full-time jobs or work part time and give up important benefits. They might also turn down promotions and the higher salary that comes with them because they can't devote the necessary time for additional work responsibilities.
According to Brennan, “On average, care costs an estimated $659,000 during a person's lifetime in reduced salary, lower 401(k) contribution, and lost retirement and health benefits.”
Elder care can take a psychological and emotional toll, because not all siblings and family members will agree on how to take care of a parent, who will be the primary caregiver, and who will pay for it.
To avoid disaster, McCormak says that caregivers need to get their own finances and retirement plan in order. Especially when children are in the mix, caregivers must set priorities and have open communication with their entire family to figure out ways to share the financial, emotional, and time burdens.
Her article discusses seven tips to cope with being sandwiched:
1. Don't dip into your retirement savings.
2. Start a college savings plan for your children.
3. Make sure your parents have long-term care insurance.
4. Establish a durable power of attorney, a health-care directive, and update wills.
5. Take inventory of your parents' assets and consolidate accounts.
6. Seek help from social services and elder law attorneys.
7. Continue saving despite family obligations and control debt.
Labels: adult children, college, finances, nursing home costs, sandwich generation, women
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Are You Counting on a Windfall Inheritance?
Over recent years, there’s been a lot of talk about the Baby Boomer generation inheriting a huge windfall. According to an article in the Insurance Journal in 2004, the 76 million boomers were predicted to inherit $40.6 trillion by 2052.However, according to several studies reported by New York Life, Boomers will inherit far less than predicted. There are several reasons for this:
Our parents are living longer and spending more of their resources on long term and medical care.
The recently poor economy has savings.
Baby Boomers have more siblings, meaning there are more people to spread the remaining wealth among.
We’ve certainly been experiencing the first reason. For years, I told my mom to not worry. They had enough to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. Then my step dad went into the nursing home and suddenly we were spending $2000 to $3000 per month over and above what their long-term care insurance paid. Watching the savings drain was like a loud sucking sound. Add to that CD rates of under 2% for a couple of years and the dollars disappeared quickly. We’ve been able to stem some of that drain by moving him to an excellent board and care home, but the concerns remain. He could return to nursing home care any day. And Mom could just as suddenly need care. Now we aren’t so sure how long their savings will last.
So even as we’re managing the needs and perhaps finances of our parents, we also need to be planning for our own retirement. We need to be faithful in contributing to our retirement accounts rather than counting on Social Security that probably won’t be there. And we need to consider long-term care insurance. The New York Life article suggests several important ways we can plan ahead responsibly.
It’s important that we do that so that we don’t burden our children—a generation that has far fewer workers than the Boomer generation.
Labels: Baby Boomers, finances, inheritance, nursing home costs