Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Meeting Myself Coming!

Sorry I’ve been out of touch. Life seems to just fly by, with nary a moment to breathe. Our son and DIL were here last week for almost a week. We enjoyed them so and talked nonstop, as usual. Some wonderful friends loaned us their cabin, so we were able to enjoy a low-keyed, laid back few days of reconnecting. We sure love those kids!

We still go to Mom’s about once a month, and I try to call every day. I sure don’t like the way she sounds. Very short of breath and still coughing and losing her voice, even though the pulmonologist said she doesn’t have asthma. Next we see a rheumatologist to try to get a better handle on the PMR. I feel increasingly inept and smooshed as I try to manage her needs, and wish we were closer.

Meanwhile, we’ve decided to remodel my office. The living room project last year gave us some confidence, so once again, we have two months before school starts to do a huge task. But that seems to work for us. My office has been a MESS, filled with far more files and books than I can use. And every day more comes in than I can process, so these little piles seem to crop up everywhere. So, little by little, I’m going through everything, throwing what I can and packing up the rest. Of course, in order to make this work, we had to clean the garage, which was also full of 29 years’ worth of stuff. We unloaded a ton of stuff to thrift stores and garbage, so hopefully will have enough room to store my furniture and boxes. People really should move every few years, just to clean out the clutter! I’ve been amazed at how exhausted we get. We still think we can work like we did when we were 35. We can’t… I ache all over from the bending and lifting.

And speaking of aging, one of our good friends who isn’t even 60 is battling cancer. He was just treated for a new tumor on the brain, and now has one on his spine. We’re having a group here on Saturday and hoping he’ll feel well enough to come. There are about 15 or 20 of us who were friends when we were single and have stayed close through marriage and kids. We continue the 30+ year tradition of spending New Year’s Day together. This year, it just seemed right to get together mid-year, so we’ll have about 15 here for a potluck BBQ (and praying for good weather!). His battle is making all of us aware of the fragility of life and the preciousness of long-time friends.

So that’s life in this part of Gen Sandwich. What’s happening in your corner of the world?

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6 comment(s):

Pat, I found your blog through Terry Whalin's bloglist. Your blog title is an attention grabber!

I've been dealing with my Mom's illness also--and feeling very alone while doing so. So nice to see there are folks going through the same thing.

Thanks for your site!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:49 AM  

Linda, welcome aboard. We'd love to hear what you're dealing with and any strategies you've found to make it more manageable. No need to go it alone! I'm gradually (because sometimes I'm real slow...) coming to the awareness that THIS is my life now. That as long as Mom is living, my life will be punctuated with her needs. Blessings.


By Blogger Pat, at 1:03 PM  

I feel like one piece of bread from my sandwich is missing since my youngest left for college! And mom is stable--at least this week! knock wood! so I'm sort of an open-faced sandwich now! But as you say, being responsible for mom's health and well being is a part of who I am now, it cannot be denied. I can do a good job of it, or I can be neglectful. It's really up to me.

By Blogger Sandy, at 6:25 AM  

Boy can I resonate with you! My one and only left for college in 2002 and graduated and married in 2006. I thought when he left that I would have less to do with him, but it turned out that what I did simply changed. I'm not one of those parents who "kick" the kids out of the nest and wish them well. I believe that our kidults need direction and presence, albeit different from when they were home, until they are at least 25 or so. Maybe forever... The challenge is learning to do THAT part well, without controlling or hovering. Being available, but not in their faces. I've written a lot about that part of the challenge. I hope you'll check out some of the previous postings. And I'm so glad Mom is doing well. For today. That's a blessing. Every day.
Blessings, Pat

By Blogger Pat, at 5:58 PM  

Hi Pat,

It's been a year since my Dad passed away. The year has been an emotional roller coaster for my Mom, my siblings and myself. My siblings and I have found ourselves having to care for my Mom and none of us live close by. This makes Dr's appts, illnesses, home repair issues all a challenge.

I've started a blog about my experiences and find it very theraputic to write my feelings and publish them. I also love to include pictures of my family which I feel is a tribute to my Dad!!

Thanks for your sharing of thoughts and please check out my blog if you have a minute.

By Anonymous Mike, at 7:33 AM  

Hi Pat, FYI, my blog can be found at

By Anonymous Mike, at 7:38 AM  

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