Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate
Are you a fearful person? Wait, before you answer, think about it. Fear comes in so many different forms that it can sometimes be deceptive. Sometimes it looks like worry or anxiety or "concern." Sometimes it looks control or obsessions or codependency. Sometimes it looks like guilt or loneliness. Yep, those are all forms of fear, and both men and women fall victim to this demon. As caregivers, it's easy to let all of these forms of fear as we juggle more balls than humanly possible and always feel we're falling short.
I know you don't want to spend your precious free time reading anything heavy, so here's a suggestion that's light and fun. With her own brand of off-beat wit and wisdom, inspirational humorist Debora Coty addresses heart needs of women worn down by everyday fears - financial, health, relationships, loss, pain, the unknown, and the what ifs in her latest book, Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate: Wit and Wisdom for Sidestepping Life's Worries.
With fresh spiritual insight, Debora shares hope, true life stories, scriptural lifelines, and a few LOL's along with simple, practical tips for sidestepping fear with faith. And a fistful of chocolate! But don't be deceived. Her playful attitude packs a punch and will cause you to pause. Each chapter includes a page of questions that will help you personalize it and nail down some changed in behavior and attitude.
Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate is a beautiful book. It's printed on high quality pink polka dot paper, making it a great gift book. Actually, I think I'll give a copy to my mom, who has a patent on fear. The book isn't as straightforward as I would like, but I have a feeling its light-hearted approach will be just right for her. It's also a nice size and very light in weight, which will also make it perfect for her.
To sweeten the pot, if you act in the next two days, you can enter to win a Kindle Fire and meet Debra at her Litfuse Facebook party on March 7. Just click on the picture below to enter.
Labels: book review, fear
Monday, October 15, 2012
Medicare and Identity Theft
I've spent my entire adult life refusing to use my Social Security number as ID for medical care. In the beginning it was difficult; providers felt they were entitled to use it. In recent years, it seems that providers have grown used to such objections. They simply create a dummy number for me.
Now I turn 65 in November, and guess what? My Medicare number is my Social Security number! I'm not happy about that at all, and especially after reading this article that claims “more than a quarter-million Medicare beneficiaries are potential victims of identity theft and hampered in getting health care benefits because the government won't issue new IDs.” Medicare’s position, it seems, is “Oh well…It’s only 284,000 people.” It’s too expensive and too time-consuming to change the numbers, so the poor beneficiaries face obstacles in obtaining care. What an outrage!
So have any of you or your parents had problems using your Medicare card? Have any of you experienced access problems? What have you done to protect your account or to get care? I'm a little worried!
Photo courtesy of Flickr/DonkeyHotey
Labels: Medicare
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers
Are you a caregiver? Or perhaps you know one. If so, Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers is a delightful little book by two caregivers: Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk. Cec has been caring for his wife with chronic illness since their marriage more than 50 years ago. Twila’s husband was diagnosed with a progressive rare muscle disease called “inclusion body myostitis” several years ago. They weave their faith-filled stories through 48 short pages of beautiful prose and photography.
I love the heart of both authors as they share their love for their spouses. As a burned out caregiver, I found hope and courage as I savored their stories. They gave me new ideas and new vocabulary for serving those I care for. Full of gentle wisdom, their personal stories of caregiving will help you face some of the ups and downs of your journey, including:
- Feeling guilty for doing too much, too little, or nothing at all
- Answering other’s well-meaning but insensitive questions
- Watching someone you dearly love suffer or die
This blog tour, sponsored by Kathy Carlton Willis Communications, is offering a prize basket that includes:
- Book—Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers
- Book—Hope and Comfort for Every Season
- Hallmark journal, list pad, and memo pad stack
- Glade “Angel Whispers” candle
- Hershey’s Bliss dark chocolate
To enter the drawing, simply leave a comment here. Good luck!
Labels: book review, caregivers
Thursday, September 13, 2012
ObamaCare Cuts Will Lead to Seniors’ Deaths
We’ve all heard a lot about the pros and cons of ObamaCare. I'm sure we each have our opinions. But increasingly, we’re hearing about hidden or not-so-hidden aspects of the plan that will affect real seniors. Often the ones you and I care for. I recently wrote about the rationing that’s already happening in my five part series on my mom’s care.
Now Betsy McCaughey, Ph.D., author of The Obama Health Law: What It Says and How to Overturn It, documents that one way ObamaCare will save money is by paying less to hospitals and doctors. The government claims ObamaCare won’t hurt seniors – just those greedy providers. Hmmm, let’s think about that. If the government pays less to providers, the providers will have no choice but to provide less care. Although they are caring professionals, they, like all of us, can only provide the care they are paid for. They're businesses, not philanthropists. And for a fragile senior or person with a chronic illness, that can be harmful. Even fatal. McCaughey backs up these assertions with facts, figures, and historical data on hospital expenditures. I'm sure many of us can already back it up with real life. If you care for an elderly loved one or are over 65 yourself, consider this report when you vote in November.
Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons/Truthout
Labels: hospitals, national health care, ObamaCare, physicians, rationing
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Self Care for the Care Giver
My husband has Parkinson’s Disease. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago, and sadly, it has progressed faster than either of us expected. Frailties I had not expected to occur for many years are already beginning to creep into our lives. That means that I need to do more than I want to or often can. Adding this to the responsibilities I have for Mom and my sister, I often feel that all I do is care for others. And yes, I often feel sorry for myself. Sometimes even resent what I've given up to be available to others.
That’s why I appreciate reminders like Angela Robb gives in her article, A Caregiver’s Journey. I appreciate her optimism and can-do attitude. I especially like what she says about readjusting your plans to do what you can do when you can do it. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Thinking that even though we are spending a lot of money on much-needed, long-deferred maintenance on our home, we also need to do the traveling we’ve wanted to do while we can still do it. That will require major adjustments in my life and priorities, as well as in our finances. But really, we can’t put it off, can we?
What are you doing to care for yourself? What strategies do you use to serve well? What do you need to stop putting off?
Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons/MikeBaird
Labels: caregivers, Parkinson's Disease
Friday, August 24, 2012
Aftermath: Growing in Grace Through Grief
One of the givens in being a GenSandwicher is that whatever you’re dealing with now, it probably won’t get better and it probably won’t end well. I think that’s one of the most difficult parts of caring for aging parents and spouses. With our children we put up with diapers, spills and tantrums, knowing that in all likelihood, this too will pass. The child will grow, mature, and become someone we enjoy being with. Not so with eldercare. While we might experience briefs ups and downs, the general trajectory is toward a train wreck. The memory will fade more. The behavior will escalate. The sickness will progress. And then, our loved one will die. I'm not sure that as Americans we are prepared for such events. We often allow institutions to do much of our care giving because of distance, other commitments, or even a lack of willingness. No matter. At some point, we will be faced with the reality of death and disability. We will have decisions to make. And we will grieve.
It’s the grieving that many of us find difficult and confusing. Especially if our loved one lives far away or if our earlier relationship with the person wasn’t all that great. But the grief comes to each of us in our own way and time. Aftermath: Growing in Grace Through Grief by Margaret McSweeney is a book you might want to pick up when the time comes. The book is partially excerpts of an earlier book by her mother, Carolyn Rhea and partially Margaret’s processing of her own grief over the loss of her parents and brother—becoming an adult orphan. It sounds confusing. I wasn’t sure she could pull it off, but she did – and well.
Aftermath is a comforting excursion through her grief process, organized around the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She adds shock in the beginning. In each chapter, she shares excerpts of her mother’s journals as she dealt with the death of her husband. McSweeney weaves in her own experiences of the same loss. Then she offers comfort from the Scriptures and counsel from experts. Each chapter has room for journaling, making it ideal for a grief group or for your own personal processing.
Following these chapters, she offers other helpful suggestions for processing loss. Aftermath is a gentle book, one that will be an excellent companion as you face the inevitable in your care giving.
Labels: book review, grief
Thursday, August 09, 2012
God Knows Your Name: In a World of Rejection, He Accepts You
Do you ever feel anonymous in the midst of your care giving?
Between aging parents, children, grandchildren, work, and all the other
responsibilities we carry, it’s easy to feel like an automaton. It’s easy to
wonder if anyone knows your name, let along God! If this describes you, then
let me recommend a book I just completed: God
Knows Your Name: In a World of Rejection, He Accepts You by
Catherine Campbell.
Campbell is a nurse, writer, and inspirational speaker from
Northern Ireland. In addition, she had two children with genetic disabilities,
so she knows a bit about being overwhelmed and undervalued. She writes about people
who feel nameless, hopeless, worthless, helpless, powerless, and loveless. You’ll
enjoy the way she weaves together stories from both the Old and New Testaments
with stories of contemporary women from around the world. I especially loved
the way she researched the sociological, political, and religious context of
the biblical stories, and used this information to craft richly layered stories
that will capture your heart and your imagination. Even though I was familiar with
all of the Bible stories, Campbell brought them to life better than any other
author I've read, stressing the poignancy of the sad situations. And she did
the same with the contemporary stories.
So if you’re feeling a bit anonymous, or know someone who
is, you’ll appreciate God Knows Your Name.
Labels: book review