Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Remodeling the Empty Nest

Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D., founder of HerMentorCenter, (a website for midlife women) and Nourishing Relationshps, (a blog for the Sandwich Generation), has written an interesting article about moving on as your kidults move out.

This struck me as timely. Our son was married last summer, and we’ve just decided to remodel our living room and a couple of bedrooms, including his. Most of this work is much needed deferred maintenance. Carpet and furniture that needed to be replaced many years ago, updating a 70s-looking living room. But we also need to do his room, replacing his twin bed and desk with a queen bed—which will just about fill the room. After all, we want them to be comfortable when they visit.

Once we made the decision, my husband began with a vengeance, and before the kids came up for our trip to DC, he plunged in and starting removing all vestiges of our very sentimental Son, who would prefer that we enshrine his room forever. I was pretty concerned that we should wait and let him do it, but we knew that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. I called DDIL and told her to warn him that his room had been decimated. He handled it well, but I could tell that he was grappling with the end of an era just as we were. The difference is that he’s moving on to the beginning of his life and we are winding down, losing the focus of the past 23 years.

But before we go, we’re going to update and make our home something to enjoy. Now, to make all those dozens of decisions. Something I’m not very good at…

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