Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna

How to Find a Good Nursing Home

The Norman Transcript today offers a useful list of ways to separate the good from the bad when you are looking for a nursing home. We like to think we won’t need one—for ourselves or our parents—but sometimes life doesn’t allow that luxury. So as Gen Sandwichers, it’s important to do our homework and find the best option in our locale.

Perhaps one of the hardest questions to answer if you (or the primary care-taking offspring) doesn’t live near the parents is whether to find a nursing home in their area or in yours. Of course it would be more convenient to have them nearby. In my case, my parents are a four-hour drive away. I’m getting old just visiting them!

But at this point, it’s better for them to remain in the town they know. Mom still lives at home, drives, and is active in her church. Friends still visit my step-dad in his care home. Furthermore, facilities in my urban area are far more expensive than those in their more rural area. For now, it’s a no-brainer.

Jim Comer talks about this in his book, When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents. He chose to keep his parents in their community and drove an hour to see them a couple times per week.

Down the road, who knows? If Mom reaches the point where she can no longer live at home or if they develop dementia to the point where they don’t know their visitors anyway, we’ll need to revisit the decision.

Labels: aging parents, Nursing homes, when roles reverse