Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Beware of Visitors (Part 2)

So Mom felt better after my brother called her back and told her that the police would be patrolling her house. About a half hour later, there was a knock on the door. Mom asked who it was. She didn't hear an answer, but assumed it was the police. So she opened the door, just a crack.

Me: "You did what?"
Mom: "Just a little. And I had my foot against the door so I could slam it if I needed to."

She had thought of everything... My mom is 5'4" and just over 100 pounds. She also has peripheral neuropathy and is unstable on her feet. I reminded her of the size and strength of her delinquent great nephew, whom she fears.

Me: "Do you really think you could keep him out with your little foot? He could push that door open with one hand and knock you over! What were you thinking?
Mom: "I know... I know..."

But does she know? How do get her to think more clearly? To think in terms of safety?

Maybe I don't.

Obviously I don't.

Maybe it's time to consider moving her to assisted living. She's right at that in between stage--too active for assisted living, but not quite safe on her own. The wrong decision could be devastating.

What would you do?


4 comment(s):

Assisted living is actually better when they are more on the active side. If you wait until she really needs it, at that point they lack the ability to cope as well. If you transition before they really need it they have the coping mechanisms still intact that make for a better transition. I worked in a community for a while and this is what I observed from the residents there.

By Blogger liberrtee, at 4:24 PM  

Yes, I've heard that as well. But she is so afraid of losing her independence. She's even having problems with the household help we've brought in a couple of times per months. Thinks we are taking away her independence rather than buying her freedom. It's sad. I hope I'm more open when I'm older.

By Blogger Pat, at 9:32 PM  

Encourage her to explore the options! the more capable she is the easier the transition. My mother in law decided to go into an independent/ assisted living facility and she practically runs the joint!!! She gets people to exercise,is responsible for a Tuesday evening current event chat and is having a ball. As a marriage and family therapist, and having moved multiple people into situations that were in their best interest, my advice is to get a professional consultation that can assess what is in her and your best interest.

By Anonymous Laura Rothafel, at 8:13 PM  

Laura, makes sense to me. But she's so afraid of giving up her freedom. And she sees it as giving up rather than making a better decision.

By Blogger Pat, at 11:09 PM  

Post a comment

<< Home