Looking at Assisted Living
Today was a landmark day in our family. We looked at our first assisted living facility.
When I arrived at Mom’s, I suggested that we might want to begin looking at what’s available in her town for the next step. She was quite resistant, but I pressed a bit. I’ve been concerned as I’ve talked to her on the phone, and after my brother’s last visit, he emailed to day that he was getting more concerned about her ability to live alone. So, I decided to broach the unbroachable. I kept it low-key. Let’s just look. No commitments. No contracts. Let’s just see what the options are so that I won’t have to make a sudden decision without her input. She finally agreed and I was able to make one appointment for today and one for tomorrow.
Before we went, I read and printed a comprehensive Consumer Checklist from the American Health Care Association and National Center for Assisted Living. Although I didn’t refer to it while we were there, it was very helpful to have read in advance.
Both facilities I called invited us to come for a meal. The director took us on a tour of the facility, and then we enjoyed a light supper in the dining room. We had no staff with us during dinner, so I got bold. I went over to the next table asked the ladies how they liked the facility. They were very gracious and gave me what sounded like an honest assessment –good points and bad points.
Tomorrow we go to another facility. It’s hard to think of Mom living in one room. She’s not there now. I pray she never will be. But I’m preparing for the worst. Preparing is a good thing.
How are you preparing?
Photo Credit: PicApp.com
Labels: aging parents, assisted living, decision-making
7 comment(s):
We did not prepare. We waited to long. Now mom needs to be in a home. But can't put her there. Can't get medicad and can't pay for it our sleves at this point. So you are doing the right thing. I know it is hard. We did not push mom into doing the things needed to get ready for such things. And we are all paying for it . Mostly mom I think.
By
karen, at
8:28 PM
Karen, thanks for your encouragement. I'm sorry you're running into this problem, but unfortunately, it's not uncommon. Most of her generation and ours haven't prepared.
It was a really hard time this week, but I know in my heart we're doing the right thing to even begin thinking about the next step.
Bless you, Karen, as you struggle with doing the right thing.
By
Pat, at
9:23 PM
Interesting blog. Kudos. Each actual historical generation (WWII Gen, Boomers, etc.) passes through the “Sandwich Generation” phase of the life cycle. “Sandwich Generation” is not an actual generation, but rather a term which has been used for over 30 years to describe the life stage which various actual generations pass through.
Actually, most of those who are currently part of the “sandwich generation life phase” are not Boomers, but rather are part of Generation Jones (born 1954-1965, between Boomers and Gen X). It is important to distinguish between the post-WWII demographic boom in births vs. the cultural generations born during that era. Generations are a function of the common formative experiences of its members, not the fertility rates of its parents. Many experts now believe it breaks down more or less this way:
DEMOGRAPHIC boom in babies: 1946-1964
Baby Boom GENERATION: 1942-1953
Generation Jones: 1954-1965
Generation X: 1966-1978
Particularly relevant today in light of the State of the Union speech tonight is Generation Jones, which has received a great deal of media attention recently. As numerous top national commentators have pointed out, GenJones voters might well decide the 2010 midterms, so it’s not a surprise to see the Obama administration targeting GenJonesers with these new proposals.
By
hetyd4580, at
10:41 AM
It's good to see you're back blogging again--and so much news! Grad school, assisted living facilities. I wish you luck with both. Mom doesn't want to move to one, but right now, she doesn't really have to. I've been checking into them for the future though.
God bless and hang in there!
By
Linda Yezak, at
3:58 AM
I am enjoying your blog. We sandwich ladies have a lot to learn from one another. Your mother is very blessed to have you looking out for her.
http://sandwichlady.wordpress.com
By
E. Brown, at
6:42 AM
Thanks for all the great comments. I apologize for being so sporadic, but I think most of my readers know how that goes. Some weeks just get away from me!
Interesting demographics, Hetyd. I had never heard of generation Jones! Thought we were all boomers.
By
Pat, at
8:33 AM
Hi! My mom's with me. Thought I would share that I try to make her feel secure all the time. I got this Just5 phone for her and she loved it. :) It really is something for seniors to have.
By
Anonymous, at
6:30 AM
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