Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna

I Feel Whiny

Do you ever feel whiny when dealing with your aging parents? I’m in such a season right now. We were at Mom’s for four days last week. In addition to the usual medical appointments, we dealt with a variety of issues around the house. Calls she has postponed making for at least two months. Paperwork she didn’t know what to do with. Plumbing problems. TV problems. Took a small pile of “stuff” to Goodwill. All in all, it was a busy week. When we got home, Hubby and I were exhausted and of course, way behind on our work.

Add to that Mom’s constant talking about the wonderful sibs who don’t do much for her. It’s a replay of my childhood – do the work, but the others are the favorites. Especially the boys. She had pulled a scrapbook from the first twenty or so years of her marriage, which I read through. It confirmed many of my memories of being the “responsible” one while she became less and less capable as life got more difficult. That triggered a lot of negative feelings.

Tonight when I talked to her, she commented on how my (poor) brothers can’t help much because they work, after all. Hello! I work and go to school. And live the farthest away! But because I’m self-employed, my work isn’t really work. Excuse me? I probably put in more work hours than the brothers, plus school.

Mom has lots of aches and pains that doctors keep trying to address. The reality is that they’re probably more emotional than physical. But if a doctor does something that doesn’t work, or heaven forbid, makes things worse – guess who gets blamed?

OK, I know I’ve never been the favorite – or even 4th favorite. And I know that she’s beginning to skip a mental beat more and more often. And I know that she doesn’t have the social skills and emotional maturity to realize what she’s doing or how it hurts. But darn, I’m tired. I’m discouraged. I’m whiny. I’d just like someone to say, “Good job. Thanks.” I’ll be better tomorrow. I hope….

Photo: PicApp.com

Labels: aging parents, caregivers