Self Care for the Care Giver
My husband has Parkinson’s Disease. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago, and sadly, it has progressed faster than either of us expected. Frailties I had not expected to occur for many years are already beginning to creep into our lives. That means that I need to do more than I want to or often can. Adding this to the responsibilities I have for Mom and my sister, I often feel that all I do is care for others. And yes, I often feel sorry for myself. Sometimes even resent what I've given up to be available to others.
That’s why I appreciate reminders like Angela Robb gives in her article, A Caregiver’s Journey. I appreciate her optimism and can-do attitude. I especially like what she says about readjusting your plans to do what you can do when you can do it. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Thinking that even though we are spending a lot of money on much-needed, long-deferred maintenance on our home, we also need to do the traveling we’ve wanted to do while we can still do it. That will require major adjustments in my life and priorities, as well as in our finances. But really, we can’t put it off, can we?
What are you doing to care for yourself? What strategies do you use to serve well? What do you need to stop putting off?
Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons/MikeBaird
Labels: caregivers, Parkinson's Disease
7 comment(s):
Sorry to hear about your husband's Parkinson's disease. Being a caregiver for a loved on is not easy and it sounds like you don't just care for your husband, but your mom too.
It's really easier for a caregiver to get burnt out if they don't take the time to care for themselves. Make sure you take some time each day for yourself! It doesn't have to be a large amount of time either, even just 30 minutes to go for a walk, read a book, listen to soothing music - anything as long as you're doing something for yourself.
By
Lynn, at
9:06 PM
Thanks, Lynn. I know "what" to do, as do most of us. The challenge is "doing" it. Most of my non-care giving time is devoted to trying (unsuccessfully) to keep my business alive. But I do enjoy friends, reading, school, and ministry. I think the hard part is coming to grips with the permanence of most of our situations. That takes an attitude adjustment. As caregivers that's the challenge to figure out.
By
Pat, at
9:34 PM
Thanks for this important reminder. My senior dad had Parkinson's Disease for over 15 years. My role has caregiver started about the same time my babysitting grandchildren began AND while I still had a couple of children at home - well and truly in the Sandwich Generation as well. But it sounds like yours is definitely more intense right now. Yet, through it I see God working in and through you and that's what ultimately is the best thing at keeping us keeping on, isnt' it. Thank you for the book recommendation and the encouragement. Praying for you today!
By
Kaye Swain - SandwichINK For the Sandwich Generation, at
2:35 PM
understand where you are coming from, Pat. Taking care of a sick loved one can be exhausting. Many times, you will feel worn out to the point of giving up, since you have to juggle and balance everything and forget about your needs. I suggest that you take it easy and one step at a time. Most importantly, give some time for yourself so you will not feel tired our worn-out from the routinely activities of care giving. And it would be best if you can hire someone who can assist you with this. Caregiving is a demanding job, and you definitely need some helping hand to balance everything. [
By
Floella Mccullough, at
9:17 AM
It’s not wrong to think of ourselves once in a while. Of course, we have our own life to live but in cases like this, you have to set aside yourself first to better serve the need of your loved ones. Don’t feel bad that you have given up so much for the benefit of your family. Remember that time is the best gift you can give to your family.
By
Carl Brighton, at
10:02 AM
Came across your blog tonight...thanks for sharing...My father has Parkinson's and my mother died of cancer. My father is not doing that great and I am not so convinced that his second wife (she is 3 yrs older than me) will care for him when it gets to the point he cannot care for himself. Also, I have a 4 year old with symptoms of Aperger's so I can relate to having to readjust to meet the needs of others. I am blessed to have a loving husband but we just watched his dad die a slow, progressive death due to Parkinson's and fought with his mother to get her into assisted living...sorry I am sharing so much...just wanting to let you know that you are not alone in having to give up things for yourself to care for others...sometimes it is frustrating and difficult to feel like you always have to put others first and things you plan for yourself get derailed at a moment's notice...hang in there..
By
Anonymous, at
8:25 PM
Friend, you certainly have your hands full! I hope you can get some help somewhere along the way. I think we are finding that life is not always what we expected it would be. And really, do we have a right to what we expected? Something I'm grappling a lot with these days. I welcome your thoughts.
By
Pat, at
10:03 PM
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